Sunday, October 5, 2014

Chick fights

I was standing at the sink. Washing dishes, really when I shouldn't have been. I've found I need to do the house work when they are sleeping. But, as I washed I could hear one of the best sounds. Giggles. 

Not just any giggles. Brother induced giggles. The girls save the best ones for when he's being silly and making them laugh. Then there was running. All three little people were running and shooting each other with fake Lego guns. Lots of chasing. Lots of laughing. I loved it. 

Then I heard it. The phrase uttered all the time. "Don't let Hazel get you Cora! Come on let's run away from her." They run and she chases. This is the core of every game. Sometimes it ends well, other times in hot tears down Hazel's sweet cheeks. It's no surprise that laine and Cora have a great time playing together. She understands his rules and mostly chooses to play by them thus granting her access to the 'Mecca' of our home.

His room. This is holy and sacred ground to the girls. No one knows what all goes on in there, just that they may only enter when invited and welcomed. Hazel is never invited. Never welcome. 

I keep explaining to him to give grace. She's only two. She doesn't understand the reason nor the importance of his "rules." (Join the club Hazel 'cause mama doesn't either.) Plus, I'm pretty sure if she did understand she wouldn't give a crap. She's a free spirit.  A wild heart. Completely crazy, quirky and full of vigor. But that translates to a liability for Laine. The "what if" scenarios run rampant in his imagination forcing him to push her out of his room. 

I once observed her fighting to get in. My points were on her for success and much to my surprise Laine went all Gandolf the Grey on her...you shall not pass... the Balrog sat defeated in the hallway. Again. 

I don't necessarily interfere here. Many may say I'm a bad mom for that. That's cool. To each his own. Here why. Every moment from the day laine got his first sister he has had to share, take turns, love others more than himself, etc. The one place he's allowed to be ruler supreme is his room. He knows the rule of the house is anything outside of his room is fair game. If you don't want them to play with it, don't bring it out. Especially not into the playroom. So, when it comes to him trusting Cora to play in his room and share those special toys with her I welcome his decision. 

It's hard on Hazel to be the third in line. She gets so sad they don't include her. I monopolize on it and get extra cuddles and one on one play time with her. I try to make her feel special. I realize too that in a few short months, maybe a year, Cora and Hazel will be much better at playing together and Laine will be on the outs. Yet for now, being the third is a hard road for her. 

She is quick to learn the game of survival though. She knows to eat fast, especially if it's a shared desert. She knows to fight for what she wants and not let anyone bully her. This makes it a little hard for only children to play with my third child. Sorry about that mamas. Yours will learn when they get siblings. It's every man for himself somedays. Other days it might be "one for all and all for one," but it's rare. 

Hazel may be hands down my favorite toddler I've had yet. She does have some scrappy qualities that I'm sure her siblings would appreciate she grow out of. Case in point the following scene happened on Friday....

Scene:
I'm sitting at the table finally having lunch. This means the kids are all fed and have been sanctioned to baby jail. Also known as the room with all their toys, that apparently they hate. Aka the playroom. The gate has been closed to ensure that I am guaranteed 4 mins to consume my microwaved burrito hot. Cold burritos are no bueno {gag}.  Laine has been called out front by his dad and the following plays out before me...

Cora is standing a few steps from the gate crying that I won't let her out. {I hear nothing just white noise, but I watch.} Directly behind her is Hazel. She's got that crazy eyed look and without saying a word she reaches over Cora's head and pulls her to the ground by her forehead. Yes, she's that strong. 

Cora turns over on the floor on hands and knees screaming and in slight shock. {I just observe. Maybe Hazel will feel bad and oh look she's going over to her.} Hazel crouches down and says, "get up!" and tries to pull her up by her clothes. Clearly this is a second act of war to Cora and she begins to scream at her and pulls her down on the ground. 

{This is starting to get good. Continue consumption of burrito.} They are now totally chick fighting. waving of the hands in a frantic manor hoping to make contact with the other, but not really able to because they have their eyes closed. Because of course. 

Then Cora goes in for a bite, misses. She has underestimated Hazels swift retaliation which looks like one of the best MMA moves I've ever seen. In one move Hazel grabs two handfuls of Cora's hair on either side of her head and simultaneously put her left foot on Cora's collarbone. She then pulls and pushes at the same time, rendering Cora in a pure panic. {I stand up. Debate getting my phone out for video, but decide I should probably do something.} 

I walk in break it up. Tears, hugs, "sorry's" are said and we move on. That happened in three mins tops. It was amazing. I'm not gonna lie one of the funniest parts of my day is the way those girls go at it. Okay, I admit it's probably not the best thing to let them do. Fighting is super frowned upon. I get it. However, I have zero intentions of raising girls who can't defend themselves. My girls will know how to throw a punch. My girls will not be only sweet and mild mannered. They will be able to say no and mean it. Heaven forbid a boy ever messes with Hazel. I only hope that she stays true to her passionate spirit and has such a love others that she is moved to be a defender of the weak. I can see her being involved in humanitarian work.

I realize that's ages away and fighting with her sisters is not something I should encourage. We strive to teach the right way to communicate our feelings, frustrations, and that injustices done to us by others should be worked out peaceably if possible. However, the reality is that there are four people here in this home with four agendas, and their own set of priorities. So, I try as I may but the fights are going to happen. Sometimes I let them, sometimes I stop them, sometimes I'm not even around to see them and I am only witness to the aftermath. Either way we are working it out. Learning to play. Learning to serve each other. Learning not to bite Cora on the booby. {Oh yes. That actually happened.} 

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