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IG Friday

my week was as follows...

more games, less screens.
only problem is he has my genetic disposition to win. and that means i have to loose.
i'm not a fan of loosing.

pizza. and messes.
her two favorite things.

eating this straight out of the pan. 

{angels singing}aahhhhhhhhhhh! 
my pallet has finally been disassembled and the nails removed. stage one is complete
now it'll just take 1 year to get thru stage two and three. 

i love to cook. especially with lots of veggies. 
chopping and chopping makes me feel like julia child.

love it.

$1 roll of brown butcher paper from the dollar store. hours of fun.
that place is my friend.

these two are starting to look alike. and they love each other.

big girl. all by her big girl self at the table.

my boys. the big one is my fav, with the little one in a close second.

least favorite ride ever. i have mild panic attacks every time it stops. but i was holding the baby so i couldn't scream.

this is just awesomeness. i love it. it sums up 80% of my day. 

might be one of my favorites. and it might be my frame it moment.

i meal plan. but this this week i started weight watchers. so now i meal plan on a tight budget, on weight watchers, and i'm giving the baby new food. it's complicated, but i love doing it!

she kept asking me to sit and play. so i did. 
we made airplane noises like girls, prince charming drove the mini van, and only elephants were allowed on the ark (her version, not God's obv.). 

it was a good week. busy and crazy and tiring and fun. i hope yours was great. i've been watching the ig feed for snap and i just might try it next year. it looks so fun! we'll have to wait and see.

hope you are all having a great week. linking up with jeanett.

why i should quit facebook, but won't.

this morning i posted on facebook that i was saying 'peace out' to good ole fb. then six hours later, i changed my mind. like a woman. just trying to be consistent with the stereotype.

but truthfully, i am so tired of social media. the ads, and the politics, and the drama, and the over all lameness sometimes. more than anything though, i am more tired of the way i let it control me.

i have, for as long as i can remember, struggled as most women do with friendships. we find so much of our value and satisfaction thru relationships. and i kinda stink at it. or at least i've taught myself to believe that i do. i was in and out of friendships so much in the elementary, jr high, and high school years. never did i have a constant best friend. there were three girls, who were kindred spirits, all thru high school. i praise the lord for them in hind sight. we've kept in touch, but as life often does, it pulls us to our own callings. but, even now in relationships with women i am cautious and yet so hopeful. and that is my main downfall when it comes to social media.

i am constantly putting my hope and my value in what other people think of me, my writing, or my photos. i rarely post on fb these days, unless the kid says something hilarious (or really, i choose to share one of the hilarious moments, because they happen all the time.), but when i do. i am constantly checking to see how many 'likes' or comments i get. this blog here has been a constant source of insecurity. and it's my own fault. i put my heart out there. or my cute craft. and i wait. wait for people to approve of me. wait for people to like me, and with one click of a button say i am important and of value.

and that my friends, is a very dangerous place.

i am grateful that i have matured to the place where i see my insecurity and realize the danger. but, is leaving facebook and all sources of social media the answer?

in a way maybe. but more than leaving social media, i need to seek first the only one who can fulfill me, validate me, and heal my insecurities. i can't just become a hermit. that would make coming back 1000% worse. i must withdraw and find balance, all while retraining my thinking and my priorities.

i am in the trenches with my children. these are the years that mean so very much. laying the foundation for their ability to make relationships and grow to an adult. i am not teaching my son well. and that is a truth that hurts to say out loud. but it is true. it is real. and i never want to be anything but real.

these are lonely years, and i look to blogs where women share their hearts and want to make connections. i need to seek out the relationships that exist in the real world though. i need to do play dates, and coffee, and double dates. but also realize that social media has it's place. it has taken on the facilitation for events, announcements, and, let's be honest, i'd never remember people's birthdays if it weren't for the reminders. i need to stop and focus on my family, and my resposibilities, and myself. but find balance in it all.

balance is the key. and while i strive to find it, i will not go to the opposite extreme for that is not healthy either.

all that to say, i am a mess. but a mess with a plan. and as for now, i am still here, but in much needed moderation.

abc apple clothesline

target dollar section. i don't think i need to say more, but i will. 

target dollar section is one of my favorite places and most dangerous places ever invented. 
i wanted to share a major score i landed on a trip a few months ago.

i found these amazing foam apples there, 10 to a pack. and i had a great idea. it was like lightning had struck my brain. {anyone? anyone?} 

at home i added the lowercase letters to one side, and then numbers 1-20 on the opposite side. my boy knows his uppers by memory so i chose to make them lowers, but if your child does not, always start with uppers. 

i pushed all the junk to one side of the table. laid them out all hodgepodge and strung a line of twine from two chairs across the room. 

i told him he needed to take the apples and put them in order with clothespins.

this was a great activity. he worked on fine motor skills, memory recall (we sang the song any time he couldn't remember which letter was next), letter matching, sequencing, and we even got some patterning in there too.

all in all this cost me $3. and he loved it.  heck yes!!

four

my boy turned four on sunday.
and while i think time is a thief that i'd like to punch in the face, i also think it's fitting to celebrate what a great kid i have.

my four favorite things about him:

1. he is one of the most loving and friendly boys ever.
every day he wants to play with friends or go to see people. he loves giving hugs and comforting those that are sad. even his sister. {although he told me she's not going to get to come on our camping adventure and has to go to grandmas while we have marshmallows.}

2. mr. adventure
 this kid has wanted to ride roller coasters since he could walk. and this year he was tall enough for thunder mountain. the excitement was uncontrollable. he constantly is suggesting going on adventures and climbing tall mountains. 

3. his love for the outdoors.
he will get up in the morning and after asking if we are having a playdate {which usually the answer is no.} the next question is, "can i go outside?" after getting up from nap, "can i go outside?" coming home from school, "can i go outside?" and on it goes. he would sleep outside if i let him, and prefers to pee outside when i let him. 

4. the constant conversation
he almost never stops talking. and though it can often make me bat sh*@ crazy, i can't get enough of it. one day he will stop telling me about every car he sees that he thinks is cool. one day he will stop singing songs about what he is doing, or the neighbors dog who eats squirels. one day he will stop asking me what i think about stuff, or stop thinking i know all about all the stuff he has questions about. 
one day he may not want to talk to me, or tell me that i am the "most favorite mom in the whole wide world." but for now, he does. and i want to listen. 

i love this boy. i am so proud of him, and how big he is. 
happy birthday baby.

Instafriday

we have been enjoying spring this week to its fullest.
hours and hours spent outside. which is how it's supposed to be. linking with jeanett




bubbles are fun for everyone.



our tree provides the best shade for babies and blankets.





picnics are interesting with an 18 month old. 
but then again meal time in general is interesting with an 18 month old. 

speaking of interesting. this girl is quirky and fantastic.
i love her spunk and her beauty. 

been really trying to figure out what this blog is for lately. how to use it. what i want out of it. where i want it to go.  and i do my best thinking in one of two places. the shower and late at night.
late at night is obvious. all the minions are sleeping and finally collapsing into bed allows my thoughts to be my own again. instead of the constant, who was changed last...where is cora...why is the baby crying...what's for dinner....where is cora...what did i come in here for...where is cora...etc.

the shower is more hit or miss. it totally depends on wether i have a minion in the shower with me. as of late only the middle child is allowed to shower with mommy. the oldest is at the age when, the topic of my not having certain body parts would pop up. and i don't really want to talk about that. especially not in the shower. the middle one is just as tricky though. she's happy to play at the faucet while i wash up and then it's her turn. however, just as i'm enjoying the relaxing flow of the water as i rinse my hair, a small finger inevitably goes places i don't want it to, and i've possibly even forgotten that she was in there and now screamed and given us both a near heart attack. and there are now tears.

today i had no one in the shower with me.
ahhhh. it's amazing how much more relaxing it is. i was able to just think about the normal and important stuff. our budget, meal planning, birthday celebrations coming up {side note. i do not like that time is such a thief. my baby boy is going to be FOUR on sunday. lame.}, and all the stuff in between. so we'll see what happens. i want to more committed, but there's a lot i need to be more committed to like housework, my children, etc. so where this all fits is a mystery to me. how do i make it all fit. while also dying to self and making what's most important a priority. i guess we shall just see.
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