Sunday, August 4, 2013

I wasn't expecting this...

Our world has been crazy as usual with a few twists. I haven't posted in quite some time and I'm starting to realize that the amount of consistency I desire is not necessarily the one I can achieve.  And actually, I think that compares to all areas in my life. I set expectations, some real, some Pinterest oriented. And sometimes I hit the mark. Other times I compile a list of all the projects in my craft room I've either started or have all the items to be able to start. Sometimes those lists come out to 22 projects. For real.

This life of mine is exhausting, amazing, chaotic, crazy, beautiful, and nothing short of wow. There have been many curves in our road of life. And sometimes the smallest curves make the biggest impact. To say finding myself pregnant last year only 10 weeks after giving birth was a surprise would be putting it lightly. However, to have learned that breast feeding is not always an effective form of birth control thus approached this next season very differently, and to have found out I am pregnant yet again is unbelievable. 

Wait. wait. did she just say she's pregnant again?! Yes. Again. Due sometime between February and March. Which will mean I will have had three babies in under 2 1/2 years with no multiples. Holy cervix that's a lot of kids in a short time. 

Now, I say it is unbelievable because we were being "responsible" by societies terms and planning on waiting a while based on our plan. But, the lesson I learned yet again, is that God is much bigger than all of that. And in His greatness He controls the smallest of cells and organisms. Do I make jokes and say my uterus is an overachiever? Yes. Do I joke about how I've been either pregnant or nursing for over 4 years? For sure. I usually do because I like to make people laugh, but also I can tell people are super uncomfortable about the fact that we are having so many kids so close together. Almost as if we are being irresponsible or have no idea how making babies works. Which obviously we do...

And, can I be honest? It's my blog so the answer is yes. It's none of anyone's business.  I say that as lovingly as I can. But seriously! When did it become the stranger in walmart's business how many kids I have, what their names are, if I had them vaginally, and whether I may have poisoned them with formula or not??!! There is something about babies and bellies that makes people loose a sense of respect for social boundaries. Now, I am not trying to be a mean crazy hormonal lady, but that should also make people more cautious to ask the overly personal questions.  I am hormonally imbalanced. Do not asks me how many babies are in there. I will cut you. 

I am an open book in all areas of my life, so I suppose I sound like a hypocrite. But maybe what I'm trying hardest to say is that we should stop asking so many questions that sound judgemental in nature.  I may ask a new mom that I know personally if she's nursing, but only to ask how it's going and tell her that no one will call the boob police if she gives her kid a bottle.  I, in no way want any new mom to feel the way I did when someone told me that if I wanted to breast feed my son I would be trying harder. The story behind that is long, and honestly still makes me hurt in my mama's heart that is ever trying to be the best possible. No one has the right to make anyone feel that small. Ever. And when people look at me and my one million children when we go out, I am so uncomfortable.  Okay, let's be honest here. I so don't take them out. Target is my special place. They aren't allowed. 

We need to support the mamas of this world. Wether they are having babies rediculously close together or 10 years apart. Wether they are choosing a C or all natural lotus birth. That's kinda nasty though, so I'm just going to not say anything and smile and nod instead if you tell me that's what you are doing. Wether you do bottles from the start or boob that kid of yours all the way. Whether that baby came from your ovaries or someone else's, your womb or someone else's.  As long as you are loving that baby, feeding that baby, and taking care of yourself power on mama!

 The journey for me to get to the place where I am has been so bumpy. I can only hope and look forward to all that this new adventure, lets call it, has in store for our ever growing family.  Yea, our hands will be very full. But our arms will also be full of hugs, our cheeks will be full of kisses, and our hearts so full of memories and love they will often threaten to burst. And one day these babies of mine will no longer be mine to care for, my messy will be tighty and my crazy much more calm. I'm told I will miss these days and I have a feeling those that say so are very very right. So, here's to wiggles and giggles, sleepless nights, explosive poop diapers that make you wonder where it all came from, struggling not to kill your kids at chick fil a, and sweet I love you's from a quickly growing toddler. 

Yeah, I wasn't expecting this, but I wouldn't change it for the world. 

2 comments:

  1. I am ready for one more baby to love and hold and sing to. Thank you for your honesty Amy. I think you are truly amazing. Not saying that cuz I have to. I really do think that you and Brent are doing an awesome job at handling life and raising wonderful children. So, bring it on, lets snuggle, tickle, laugh and love one more.

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