Sunday, October 28, 2012

feeding time

you know that episode of the office where kevin is crying at pam's boobs trying to get her milk to come down?
that happens in my house on a daily basis, except no creeper and it's just all my kids.

i swear if a kid cries they totally start to throb.
which is inconvenient because all three of my kids love to cry.

mister mischief cries whenever you have said something contradictory to what he's led himself to believe will be happening.
granted, this all 'happens' in his alternative universe where he goes to disneyland three times a week, eats nothing but "jelly sandwiches", only plays outside with no pants on, never is asked to go potty before bed, and never needs to clean up a mess that is "too big."

but, alas, i am a mom and therefore designated squisher-of-all-fun.

little sister is 13 months old.
enough said.

i do have to say though.
with all my joking and somewhat complaining if you will.
they are great.

the best thing...
these kids are pretty great sleepers.

as we speak all three are sleeping.
did you hear that?

and....the littlest went 6 hours last night.
this is where you hear that guy from Sister Act sing "Oh Happy Day."

will it happen tonight?
probably not.

will i wish for it?
do kindergarteners eat glue?
what a dumb question.

i really shouldn't waste any more peace and quiet.
i have laundry to fold.
and maybe pinterest to browse.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

the one i wanted to title {poop}, but figured no one would read if i did

i was sitting on the couch today trying to nurse the new one when a smell reached my nose.
everyone knows the smell of poop.
especially kid poop.
it's an undeniable and very definable smell.

i looked at my first born who was calmly watching a video next to me.
he would have known he had to go and proudly proclaimed to the sisters and i,
"i have to go poop." and then run off to the bathroom. where, 45 seconds later another proclamation, "i'm done! come wipe me!"
so i know it wasn't him.

i am so thankful he is potty trained this time around.
15-20 diapers a day is enough for me.
he's grown up so much in this last 10 months.
we had a play date today with a little friend of his and i was just amazed at how big he's getting.
so much imagination, so much excitement, so much energy.
there were sharks in their pirate ship, a party in the wagon which then turned into a roller coaster, and lots of examining of bugs.

i look at the new one.
her poop doesn't smell, so i know it's not her.
she's such a good baby.
i'd be so much more of a mess if she wasn't.
feeding isn't always easy with her, haven't totally nailed down why, but i have to just take one feeding at a time.
it's hard to sit on the couch nursing while the other two are busy.
i know it'll get faster. and shorter. and not so stressful.
i know that she'll grow and grow and grow and then she'll be mobile.
and then i'll want to rip my hair out.

i keep thinking to myself, "it'll get easier."
but then i realize. it won't really.
and do i even deserve for it to be easy?
selfishness drives me to want it to be easy.
i don't want to be this exhausted.
i don't want to be this weepy.
i don't want to do all this.
but i must.
and i will.

this is my chosen role.

i'm on day two without the daddy. and it's going okay.
there are moments that are easy. i'm clinging to those moments.
because when it gets hard there are little lies in my head that i believe.
i must take those thoughts captive.
i must remind myself that thru this period of loss of sleep, and loss of time to myself, and loss of a lot of things, that it's just a moment.
and if i allow it to be just that. i can see the blessings that fall thru it onto me.

any mom of a newborn would say it's a hard stage.
any mom of a 13 month old would say it's a hard stage.
any mom of a 3 1/2 year old would say it's a hard stage.
so. i have all three.
and lord willing they'll all go to kindergarten and these will be all but memories.

it'll only be okay if i continue to die to my pride.
i. can. not. do. it. all.
oh, but i so want to.

the small round one now approaches me and i have put the pieces of the puzzle together.
she's the culprit. the creator and sustainer of the smell.
well. we'll just have to endure until i am done bottling the baby the milk i pumped because she screamed for 30 mins while trying to nurse.
i remember her early days too were hard. lots of screaming. daddy was the only one she wanted sometimes.
i had a hard time with her.  a lot of anger. a lot of moments i wish i could take back.
but now, she's so wonderful. she laughs and fairies are born each time.
she's wonderful magic and tons and tons of trouble.
all rolled up in this insanely cute package that walks around with a bloated belly like a drunken sailor shouting commands at everyone.

but, now there's a baby calling for me. and so, hi-ho hi-ho it's off to nurse i go.

i'll leave you with these from the other night.

Friday, October 19, 2012

juggling {and instagram}

so. it's been almost a month now with three kids under the age of 3 1/2.
a lot of people ask:
how are you guys doing?
how are you handling having three?
aren't you so tired?
you must be so sleep deprived.
wow. you have your hands full!
did you plan that?

standard answer:
we are okay. it's a juggling act.
no. we didn't plan it, and yes we do have our hands full.
unfortunately we can't give them back so we have to keep all of them at this point.
i do want to drink alcohol on a daily basis, but since the baby is on the boob i can't.
we are thinking of applying for a reality show, but not sure if the networks want to aid in slowing the birth rate.
people would definitely stop having kids after spending 30 mins with us.
thanks for asking.

okay so maybe i don't say all of that. or most of that.
but i want to.

it is a juggling act.
some times they are all crying. sometimes just one. and maybe that one is just me.
stressful times are meals, and bed time, and when i'm nursing, and when the girls are both up, and when we have to go basically all the time.

but we are acclimating.

thank goodness for my iphone though.
i wouldn't have pics of my kids in this crazy time, especially the littlest, if it weren't for instagram.
here are some photos from the weeks i've been absent.

this boy keeps me smiling and loves hanging with me on the couch while i nurse Hazel.
thankfully he's not super interested with what she's doing. 

we got a date night in on day 10. 
my mom is a rock star and handled all three kids, during dinner and bed time.

i opened my fridge and had to laugh because i had different milk for all three of my kids. 
thank goodness my milk is free. 
might open a milking farm.

her favorite place. 

i want to eat her.
 i also want more cold days so i can bundle her in these adorable jackets!

like i said, favorite place.

the little dude got to go on a special date with grandma and grandpa to....disneyland!
he had so much fun, and it was so good for him to do something without the sisters.

already a crazy woman driver at the age of 1. 

the weather has been pretty nice. 
a few hot days, but the mornings and evenings are gloriously cool.
i love fall. it's a time of year that makes me happy.

i have to go make lunches now, so that way when it is lunch and i am nursing everyone can eat and not scream. 

i'm linking up with jeanette. 
life rearranged

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

someone new

there is someone new in our house.
she's very sweet.
sleeps pretty well.
and smells like heaven.

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