it's funny how when you aren't a mom you come up with all these ideas of how you'll be a good mom. things you'll do to teach your kids. things you'll never do. how you'll know and do all the right things all the time. sure.
let me tell something to you. it goes all out the window. i worked with kids for over ten years before i had my son. i totally knew what to do with kids right? wrong. the first night home i freaked out.
i had no. idea. what i was doing. none. i remember trying to figure out how to take him back.
take him back to the hospital.
but, thankfully he won't ever remember the moments where i messed up. and, i look back on that mom i was just a few short months ago (21 to be exact.) and i smile at her. why? because i had no idea how wonderful that stage was. the learning, bonding and still stage of a sweet newborn.
now i have a toddler. we are still learning. we are still bonding. but theres not so much being still. ever. but, again, i wouldn't have it any other way.
i am a mom who lets her son play with sticks. heck, i let him run with sticks.
he eats snails (not that i let him do that, but he's a boy and he does it anyways), leaves, crayons, food off the floor, dried food from his highchair....
i am thoroughly considering a backpack harness for my child. he runs everywhere. and mix that with my crowds phobia. issues i'm telling you.
i let him play with finger paint. in his hair.
i have used a toilet seat cover from the women's bathroom to make a diaper for my son. that would be why i will always. always. carry more diapers.
he walks around in my shoes.
even though i am paranoid that he'll get bit, i still let him run around with the ducks at the lake today.
i think some times he says all the words he knows to be able to get something, just in case one of them is the right word to use.
we make messes. we wrestle. we give lots and lots of kisses.
we play in the rain. or any time really as long as it's outside.
i am a mom. i love being a mom.
i am learning to find balance in this new phase of toddlerhood.